© John Monroe 2011
Last month, we began to view meetings objectively (like a video camera), setting aside as many of our personal filters and expectations as possible. Cultivating the ability to turn on your inner video camera periodically during every meeting will refresh your screen, so you can see what’s happening right now. This month, let’s look inside and consider how you react to what you see.
There are at least two reasons to understand better your emotional involvement. First, it will help you to recognize when emotions are about to affect your effectiveness as a facilitator or as a meeting participant. More on this below.
Second, you may begin to notice when emotion is playing an important role among others in the room. Whether you are chairing the meeting or not, simply observing what you see will be an essential tool to create meetings that matter. In upcoming tips we’ll examine how this tool works, but first let’s look inward.
When you get hooked by the emotional content of a conversation, you risk losing your ability to respect and uphold the agreements made for how you will conduct business and make decisions. Especially as the facilitator or chair, this could interrupt your ability to serve the needs of the group above your personal needs.
Specifically, you want to avoid getting emotionally hooked by the conversation, or arguments or personalities in the room. You will also learn to spot emotional reactions internally and manage them before they blossom in full view. Note: As you develop this emotional intelligence, you’ll be better able to support others when emotions run high.
So this month, pause to notice your internal reactions to what you see and hear. Jot down any word, exclamation or phrase that describes your feelings, such as:
Yes!
Oh nooo.
Aaaarrrggghhh.
What?
Well done!!
Not again!
Why so slow?
What’s the rush?
When certain people speak, do you sit up and listen with a smile?
When others speak, so you cringe quietly and shift uncomfortably in your chair?
Does the meeting seem to be in slow motion, or does it feel rushed, or is it about right?
Do you leave feeling encouraged and confident, or just glad that it’s over?
Looking around the room, do others appear to feel the same way, or differently? [Note: in a future tip we will talk about how important it is to verify the meaning of what you see, not just assume you are right.]
Practice Tip #2 for a few minutes during several meetings this month. Discretely, keep your list of observations. Afterwards, consider the intensity and patterns of your responses. In upcoming tips, we’ll put these observations and patterns to work in your role as meeting facilitator, chair or participant.
Please comment on this blog, or drop me an email, with comments and questions. I’ll be delighted to hear what you think….and feel!
Last month, we began to view meetings objectively (like a video camera), setting aside as many of our personal filters and expectations as possible. Cultivating the ability to turn on your inner video camera periodically during every meeting will refresh your screen, so you can see what’s happening right now. This month, let’s look inside and consider how you react to what you see.
There are at least two reasons to understand better your emotional involvement. First, it will help you to recognize when emotions are about to affect your effectiveness as a facilitator or as a meeting participant. More on this below.
Second, you may begin to notice when emotion is playing an important role among others in the room. Whether you are chairing the meeting or not, simply observing what you see will be an essential tool to create meetings that matter. In upcoming tips we’ll examine how this tool works, but first let’s look inward.
When you get hooked by the emotional content of a conversation, you risk losing your ability to respect and uphold the agreements made for how you will conduct business and make decisions. Especially as the facilitator or chair, this could interrupt your ability to serve the needs of the group above your personal needs.
Specifically, you want to avoid getting emotionally hooked by the conversation, or arguments or personalities in the room. You will also learn to spot emotional reactions internally and manage them before they blossom in full view. Note: As you develop this emotional intelligence, you’ll be better able to support others when emotions run high.
So this month, pause to notice your internal reactions to what you see and hear. Jot down any word, exclamation or phrase that describes your feelings, such as:
Yes!
Oh nooo.
Aaaarrrggghhh.
What?
Well done!!
Not again!
Why so slow?
What’s the rush?
When certain people speak, do you sit up and listen with a smile?
When others speak, so you cringe quietly and shift uncomfortably in your chair?
Does the meeting seem to be in slow motion, or does it feel rushed, or is it about right?
Do you leave feeling encouraged and confident, or just glad that it’s over?
Looking around the room, do others appear to feel the same way, or differently? [Note: in a future tip we will talk about how important it is to verify the meaning of what you see, not just assume you are right.]
Practice Tip #2 for a few minutes during several meetings this month. Discretely, keep your list of observations. Afterwards, consider the intensity and patterns of your responses. In upcoming tips, we’ll put these observations and patterns to work in your role as meeting facilitator, chair or participant.
Please comment on this blog, or drop me an email, with comments and questions. I’ll be delighted to hear what you think….and feel!
